Day 16... I am thankful for the legacy of marriage in our family and the importance that is placed on it. Thinking back on both my side and Caleb's side, we have a beautiful history of marriage, of two people loving each other through good times and bad, with a high level of commitment to making the relationship work.
I was especially mindful of this as I drove down to Granbury to help with a friend's wedding on Friday. We all have friends around us whose marriages are hard, and for them, at that time, they see few options. I ache for them. I know marriages have rough seasons. I know we are all capable of letting our guards down and making poor choices. I know we all can get so busy with everyday life, we stop "working" on bettering our relationship and we smother any bit of a flame with schedules and selfishness. I know at the end of the day there can be very little good left inside of you to share with your spouse. But I also know the value of mustering up that last little bit of kindness, the last ounce of giving left inside and sharing it with the one you once committed to for better and for worse.
I've been deeply impacted watching my mom grieve the loss of my dad. The love she has for him has oozed out of her soul in such ways that I'm sure have been natural for her but have been touching for me to see. Hearing her say how much she misses him, not just having him around, but misses him--her best friend, her love-- has reminded me to not take these moments we've been given for granted. She misses their conversations, their prayers together, their adventures and their routines. As bad as that makes me hurt for her, it is so encouraging to know the status of their marriage after 39 years... it was very good.
Looking back on parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, and many generations, our families have taken their marriage vows very seriously. They have set beautiful examples for us to follow. We've been blessed in the security of their integrity. I love Gary Thomas' book, "Sacred Marriage". I try on a regular basis to remind myself of this...
"What is God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy? What if, as de Sales hints, we are to accept the "bitter juice" because out of it we may learn to draw the resources we need with which to make 'the honey of a holy life?'"
Marriage is beautiful and ugly, blissful and frustrating, thrilling and painful. I will leave another piece of this legacy for my kids and grandkids someday and I pray it is as beautiful of an example as the ones laid out before us.
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